Saturday, March 14, 2009

In freak of nature, 45-year-old turns 13

You'd think I'd be past it by now...this business of feeling like an adolescent, expecting to break out in bouts of acne and attitude at any moment.

I'm off to spend a week with my Mom, working on projects around the house that she can no longer see to do. Each time I make these trips back to the ranch solo, I feel as though I immediately revert back to that awkward teenager. The "ahh, to be a kid again" sentiment doesn't apply to me, I guess. It's a strange phenomenon, vaulting back through the years. Things are certainly different now: Dad's gone (has been for almost 25 years), the animals are gone, and Mom's the one who needs care now; not the child. And yet, she still manages to wield that Mom-ness that has me flipping between "it's good to be back home" and a bad burst of back-talk.

I doubt I'm unique. I suspect most women go through this at one time or another. You tell me. I'm just saying it's weird, and I'm not wild about the feeling. On the flip side, though:
  • I'll get a few days of digging through the old fabric stash. Who knows? Maybe I'll find some "vintage" stuff from my high school days. Ouch.
  • I'll get to run Sophie all over the ranch (one of her favorite things on the planet).
  • And I'll get to stare at this out the front window (one of my favorite things on the planet).
Maybe it will be good to be a kid again. I'll let you know.

1 comment:

  1. I am full of on a ranch is my kind of a good life. Bonus to find some vintage fabrics too. And, no, the kind of relationship with your mom is not weird. At least, it's how I feel when I visit my mom...she doesn't live on a ranch...but she doesn't ask to be looked after or taken care of. Enjoy the week away.